I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
