I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Holy sore nipples Batman
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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