I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
