a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
