I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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