On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
