Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
