I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize