Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
