This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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