I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
