I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
