I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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