i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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