Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
