Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
