Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
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