She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
