I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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