you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
