i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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