i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
