woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Can vaginas get frostbite?
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
