I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
We have started to decorate penises.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Randomize
