he puts the penis in happiness.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize