I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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