I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Randomize
