I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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