You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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