i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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