Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
