i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
