There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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