Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
