Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize