He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
