: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize