Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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