I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
