she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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