So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Green mimosas i think yes
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
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