Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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