next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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