not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
