Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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