i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
