It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize