Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Everything about him screamed your future.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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