my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
