maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
