when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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