i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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