yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
