3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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