I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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