Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
