Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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