how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
