So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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