Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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