I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
