I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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