sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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