I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
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