Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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