just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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