It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
