how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
