What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I need a beard to bite.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
